WHAT WOULD I DO WITHOUT YOU?

Hello solitude – how about passing our evening together? Just the two us? I remember a time, when being all for myself aroused more mixed feelings inside of me. But was or still isn’t a certain feeling of loneliness betweenwhiles hustling self-reflection along? We are constantly living in a world of permanent communication and exchange of opinions, in which the examination of the very self becomes obviously less important. The steady running after some social attachments detains us from admitting a certain access to our heartstrings. But what is this angst we are afraid of, the moment we are alone?

I feel lonely in a variety of regards, though I love staying in pleasant company talking for hours. Often I can’t even explain why the feeling of solitude suddenly appears. What I know is, that feeling sole inspires me in a weird but very personal way. Maybe it’s just another creation the so-called neurosis I am this adversely affected by provokes, but I still have the sensation that I find a very close and profound way to myself in moments of loneliness.

In the early evening, shortly after closing time I was walking through the city together with the last shopping remains, when I apparently felt all alone inside the life of a whole town – among a million people. I asked myself how many of my attendants through the dawn might feel like I am doing and if they are, can they actually examine it? I may represent the thesis that desolated people might feel alone in any kind of situation often camouflaged by high spirits even on a wild Saturday night. Do we have to stand-alone from time to time in order to prove that we can still stand? What would we do without solitude? Could we even endure our lives without the ability of being for ourselves, when it comes to the point?

After an extended after-work-cocktail-hour I began thinking about solitude among relationships. Essentially any kind of relation it does not matter if old or new brings us somewhere, but what is it about the relation to ourselves – isn’t it highly challenging and more exciting to get over with ourselves and is the handling with the own you a further consequence of a certain loneliness? Am I happy with my personal solitude? I would say I am, as solitude is nothing sad or depressing for my understanding, but furthermore an invisible connection I have with many fellow men, which may see it as an attitude to life, too. Maybe it is again a factor of maturity to appreciate this sort of living even more, as we will understand how important it will ever stay to be clear about our own personality, in order to lead a good life and to maintain regardful relations. Rainer Maria Rilke found some very congenial words to this context: I hold this to be the highest task for a bond between two people: that each one protects the solitude of the other.

I don’t know if the subject of solitude is a real lifetime choice, temporariness or more a consequence of actions we gain through our acting in life, but what would I do without it?

Maybe simply live on.

Cheers

Lorax