How many stories do begin with the famous and
well-known words once upon a time…? Normally it is even this kind of
story literally ending happily; but interpreting them on another level the
memories of our childhood may appear on a rather departed context. I
mean once upon is part of a time which is actually gone, isn’t it?
Talking about friendships, I often get the strange impression, that this social
construction between two individuals is even more emotionally instable as the
biggest love stories could be and that many friendships we had until now and we
will have in the future may possibly have been and be just a further station on
our train journey called life, as there is a steadily getting on and off
movement.
Maybe friendship is a matter of timing, as one has to
know how to react in a certain situation, letting someone hurl into the own
destiny and then picking up the shards together. I had even this discussion
with a friend of mine as she decided to take some choices I did not agree that
much, but I simply let her go her path. As I didn’t react in the to her
accustomed manner in habituated situations, things got complicated, as she
claimed a stage of friendship, which was absolutely far away from reality. It’s
not that I depreciated her value of being close; it is simply another phase of
relation between two persons, but what is the real meaning of a friend
nowadays? Sometimes I get kind of confused as we use the word friend all too often and mostly not
reflected enough. What is the essential about a friend in a world, where there
wouldn’t pass a weekend without accepting half a dozen new friends on a social
media platform? That was the point where I began thinking about soul mates. Maybe
this certain and very profound connection to someone in our environment can
explain sometimes better what being a friend should be. Even if I sometimes
might have been doubtful about the existence of soul mates I now have to
declare for myself consequently: yes, they do – as I recently found a real
neighbor of soul in some really random situation at a nightclub. In my very own
understanding soul mates must not even know you for years, but you will feel a
special connection of trusting each other. No words to be spoke – a simple glance
might suffice.
Later in the night, while I was rereading Paulo
Coelho’s The Zahir I came across one of those memorable quotes,
which coincidentally matched perfectly to my thoughts: When someone leaves,
it’s because someone else is about to arrive. Do we truly have limited
capacity for friendship? Actually we all should admit that though we might have
an amount of acquaintances, true friends are rare; but why are they? Are there
really those few mates to be close with, and the rest is simply existent, in order
to have a good time? I think I am not in the actual grade of maturity to find
an answer to that question, yet.
Friendships never go out of style as your friends are
the family you have chosen by your very self and it is still calming, knowing
someone walking not in front, not behind but besides yourself. Friendship is a
form of love, which sometimes gets even to a deeper understanding of the very
other, than a random love affair ever will. It is this strange feeling of
safeness, having someone without commitment you can laugh, cry and talk trashy
or seriously with, always knowing that you can have honestly confidence into
her or him. It is again to trust someone finally, what makes a friend close. I
admit that they were and surely will be situations, when I barely lost the
whole faith in trusting someone, recognizing that Oscar Wilde was right saying
that a true friend stabs you in the front. Seen on a different level this is
simply a variation of trust at it goes thus deeply saying, that someone who is
really honest in your very presence might only kill you with your full courtesy.
Besides the fact that you might be dead afterwards still a polite act, even if
you feel the mortal agony for some seconds longer than being dispatched from
behind.
When you pass a lot of time with the same person it
might be natural, that you will get annoyed of some things you only could
know simply out of the reason of a deep friendship. But aren’t it even those
little things you may miss the most when they are gone? Maybe we should
reconsider some situations before getting to a final decision concerning a
specific trying situation with a friend, as they might never be avoided
completely. Friends will drop off your train, but fortunately
we live in a globalized world – there are airplanes, too.
Cheers
Lorax
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